"But...nothing will be the same!" I exclaimed, ashamed of how cliche and immature I sounded even before the words had left my mouth.
"Yeah, that's life." Brian stated, and although I knew he was right, something in me rebelled.
But WHY. Why can't life just stay the same for once?
We were discussing an announcement at church last Sunday, a big change that will affect us, and our entire church. We knew it was coming. I feel simultaneously happy for our friends involved, and sad for myself.
Brian reminded me that life is always changing. In today's world, it's very unlikely that we'll have the same jobs for the rest of our lives, or that we'll live in Arizona forever. Now, I just felt panicky.
I have a love/hate relationship with change.
In some circumstances, I thrive on change. I can't do the same workout for more than a few weeks without getting bored out of my mind. I like moving around furniture and rearranging decor to change the look and feel of a room. Even though I strive to shop ethically, I struggle with getting tired of my clothes and wanting to switch them out for new things.
I love reading about self-improvement, and I enjoy changing my routine and habits to be more productive and reach new goals. I enjoyed the challenge in school of learning new topics and applying that knowledge to different projects.
I read somewhere that change and novelty are key to feeling happy. While I think that's probably true, it also makes me miserable first.
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.
There is comfort in sameness. I like knowing what to expect and making plans. Change upends everything, ushering in uncertainty.
And yet, there is some comfort in change as well, knowing that "This too shall pass."
I remember during my darkest days in high school, fearing that I would always feel the mental anguish of depression. But my situation did change, and that period of my life did pass.
Change brings with it a sense of loss, but also of gain. I know, deep down, that this present uncertainty will result in my long-term growth.
In a month or two, I'll be excited about the possibilities. But first, I think I need some time to mourn life as it used to be.
How do you react to change? I'd love to hear any tips for accepting and embracing necessary change you might have, so please share them in the comments!