I also feel like telling you a story from earlier this week. We ran over to Target for a quick coffee creamer and eggs run after dinner a few days ago. From across the store, I saw the cutest trench coat. Instantly, a battle began in my head.
Oooh, let's go look at that trench coat!
NO. Let's not. We can't buy anything this month, remember?
But we could just look at it!
What's the point in that? I bet it's not fair trade or made in the usa.
But it's CUTE. And trench coats are IN this fall. Plus, trench coats are classics, they never go out of style. It'd be worth it!
Luckily for me, Brian distracted me with the ice cream section. I gave in to the Reeses Peanut Butter Cup ice cream bars and said no to looking at the trench coat.
Later, I thought about what had happened. The first thing I noticed since this month started is how often I think about clothes. What's in style, what's my ideal style, what's on Pinterest, what's on sale, what's at Target, what tee shirt I'm going to wear today.... to name a few. Even when shopping in the grocery section, my thoughts are on the clothes a few aisles away. When heading to a birthday party last week, I still wrestled with what I would wear, even with only four shirts to choose from!
Add to that all the thoughts I have about buying decor, or buying the stuff to DIY the decor. That equals a lot of thinking about buying, actually, almost constant.
Pinterest doesn't help. Neither does having a Target within walking distance, and two thrift stores a short drive away. Or Christmas coming up. Really, I can find a lot of reasons to excuse the "I want" refrain running in the background of my mind.
It's not all bad. I don't think it's wrong to want to buy curtains for the living room and a throw pillow for the couch. It's probably not wrong to want a trench coat either (I'll probably look for one at Goodwill or eBay). It's the fact that wherever I go, I'm noticing what other people have or what they're wearing, and my automatic, unconscious response is "I like that. I want that!"
One of the biggest insights I've had this month is just how materialistic and discontented I truly am. Either C.S. Lewis or John Calvin is quoted saying our hearts are idol factories. In The Weight of Glory, C.S. Lewis wrote:
Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.If how we spend our days is how we spend our life, why do I waste my time thinking about what I'm going to wear?!
The time spent thinking about myself is so disproportionate to the amount I spend thinking about others. I am far too easily pleased by playing around with the perfect accessories and outfits or dreaming about new additions to my wardrobe.
Maybe clothes aren't as big of a deal to you. In your life, what you find yourself pleased with instead of God?
Read the rest of the series here.