I began the week with a sore throat, and since strep has been going around ... I just didn't want to take any chances. The doctor gave me antibiotics just in case, but with as stuffy as my head feels today, I'm pretty sure it's just a common cold, thankfully!
So, I've been chugging tea with honey, and taking lots of Cold-Eeze. Brian says they work for him, so I'm giving it a try. I even ate raw garlic. I hate being sick that much. It's not for the faint of heart.
But let's back up. Last weekend, I met my good friend and mentor for coffee. I'd think about getting together with her, and then put off sending a text. Or I'd get a text from her, and say "We need to have coffee!" but then never set a date. I finally decided this weekend I would just make it work. I felt so refreshed and encouraged afterwards!
My sister-in-law spent last weekend with us. We went to the farmer's market on Saturday morning, and I made a great discovery. I'd been having such a hard time watching Brian scarf down M&Ms in front of me (ok, so I did put them on the grocery list for him as a thank you for all the early morning feedings he does, and just generally for being a great husband) knowing that the pain a little milk protein causes Edison is not worth even one tiny M&M. But seriously folks, after a long day of taking care of a fussy baby, I just wanted some smooth chocolaty goodness to make me feel better.
So when I tasted Stonegrindz' samples at the farmer's market, you better believe I bought some! Dairy-free for the win!
And those cotton candy flavors - the peanut butter and jelly one was crazy good!
Per the doctors orders at his two month appointment, we worked with Edison on sleeping in his crib instead of just his swing a few times this week. Now he's awake...
... and now he's out.
He fell asleep in the time it took me to text his mom and sister-in-laws a picture of him in those pj's. They're a little too big still, but they belonged to his daddy when he was a baby. They must be very cozy!
Edison has not wanted to stay asleep when taking naps this week. The photo is blurry since the swing was still in motion, but this is his "I'm not going back to sleep and you can't make me" face.
Who can resist that face? (Also, apparently I really like that striped shirt!)
I will admit that I start stressing out over how little I get done every day. Our floors haven't been mopped in who knows how long, and the bathroom is starting to look like a research study of just how remarkably grimy a bathroom can become when only two people use it (it defies logic). Every time I walk by the sticky places on the floor or see the dust on the coffee table, I think: someone should probably clean that.
My mother-in-law has this beautiful poem hanging on her bedroom wall:
The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
But children grow up as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep!
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.
I also visited a daycare on Monday, and it impressed on me how little time I have left to spend just holding him as much as I want to. So the cleaning can wait.
Sirius is taking his role as nanny more seriously lately.
But he seems to think that entitles him to special privileges.
Guess who is sleeping through the night now! ALL OF US! With the exception of last Saturday night, after a day of being out and about and off his schedule, he's going on about two weeks of eating between 8-10 pm, and then sleeping until between 4-6 am.
That means someone, aka me, is now getting up for that first early morning feeding so that Brian can go work out. His half Ironman triathlon (!!!) is coming up in a couple weeks, so every extra workout counts! I have never ever been a morning person, so this is taking some getting used to.
Edison is back to taking his reflux medicine. We've found that that combination of medicine plus dairy-free diet works really well, and without one or the other, after a few days Edison will start being in pain after eating and having a difficult time sleeping. And it takes at least a week for any milk product to leave my system, which is very motivational as far as keeping me from eating those M&Ms.
On Tuesday, I'd signed up for a group clinic with the lactation consultant and a pediatric chiropractor. It was really the only thing left that I hadn't tried. Over the weekend, breastfeeding was as excruciating as always. Then of course, I got this cold. So on Monday night, I told Brian, "I just really don't want to go."
"Then don't go." He said. "This means you're done, then, right?"
"Yes, I guess I'm done."
And that was that. Not how I wanted this to end, but I'm ready. Yes, it's time-consuming to have to feed Edison from a bottle and then pump afterwards. And I worried for a long time about missing out on the bonding experience, but I really think we've bonded just fine. I worried about how much we'd also spent on procedures and consultations and felt like if I just stuck it out a little longer, maybe it would work out. But I finally decided that enough was enough. Enough money, enough doctor appointments, and enough pain and frustration, on both my part and Edison's.
I know some people who stuck it out for four months, and others who've told me if they had half of the issues I've had, they would have quit a long time ago. Ultimately, I know that now is the right time to stop for us. I plan to try again with the next baby, should God give us one!
Whew. That was really hard to share! I honestly didn't think when I started sharing our post-baby troubles that this would be the conclusion, but it didn't feel honest to not write it.
On a lighter note, I had a post-baby first today. While I was pumping, the doorbell rang. I turned and saw the pest control guy standing there, and I remembered in a flash that they were coming to spray our house TODAY. I got unhooked from the machine in record time!
And that's life lately! Thanks for reading!